I am completely changed yet still the same. Unable to grasp the full meaning of this transformation, yet I am discovering the world from a new perspective. Being able to fly out into the endless expansion of the world around me. My heart is vibrating while I witness the immense beauty that surrounds me. I feel utterly alive with all the new opportunities that emerge in this space.

But now my wings are trembling while I feel the winds of life pulling on them, inviting me to fly high. My bright colors are toned down by the salt from my tears. Unable to fly because I’m being pulled down by the weight of my cocoon which I cannot let go yet…

It is too much. The light is blinding me. My heart cannot hold all this beauty I see and feel. There is too much love moving in my heart. I can feel the edges starting to crack. With each breath, the cracks get bigger. I’m not able to take in more. There’s not enough space..

I want to hide in the cocoon I came out of, the one I know so well. The one where I can be small. Alone. Separated.
But it doesn’t fit me anymore…
I cannot un-know…
I cannot un-feel…
I know…
I remember..

I feel the cocoon that has formed around my heart. Slowly breathing in. Feeling the pain of the cracks that grow bigger and wider with each breath. Keep breathing. Unable to stop it. Having to trust this new transformation. As a kaleidoscope, everything keeps changing and expanding. Bursting open. Energy moving. I’m slowly letting go of the resistance. Letting in the fear. The fear I know so well. The fear of breaking into a million pieces.

I keep breathing. Hoping it is not me that is breaking. Hoping it is only another cocoon breaking…

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